This is how it should feel when its m e a n t to be
I want a love like me thinking of you thinking of me thinking of you type love or me telling my friends more than I’ve ever admitted to myself about how I feel about you type love or hating how jealous you are but loving how much you want me all to yourself type love
or seeing how your first name just sounds so good next to my last name.
and shit- I wanted to see how far I could get without calling you and I barely made it out of my garage.
See, I want a love that makes me wait until she falls asleep then wonder if she’s dreaming about us being in love type love or who loves the other more or what she’s doing at this exact moment or slow dancing in the middle of our apartment to the music of our hearts.
Closing my eyes and imagining how a love so good could just hurt so much when she’s not there and shit I love not knowing where this love is headed type love.
And check this-
I wanna place those little post-it notes all around the house so she never forgets how much I love her type love
then not have enough ink in my pen to write all the love type love and hope I make her feel as good as she makes me feel
and I wanna deal with my friends making fun of me the way I made fun of them when they went through the same kind of love type love.
The only difference is this is one of those real type loves
and just like in high school I wanna spend hours on the phone not saying shit and then fall asleep and then wake up with her right next to me and smell her all up in my covers type love and I wanna try counting the ways I love her then lose count in the middle just so I could start all over again
and I wanna celebrate one of those one-month anniversaries even though they ain’t really anniversaries but doing it just ‘cause it makes her happy type love
and check this-
I wanna fall in love with the melody the phone plays when our numbers dial in type love and talk to you until I lose my breath, she leaves me breathless, but with the expanding of my lungs I inhale all of her back into me.
I want a love that makes me need to change my cell phone calling plan to something that allows me to talk to her longer ‘cause in all honesty, I want to avoid one of them high cell phone bill type loves
and I don’t want a love that makes me regret how small my hands are I mean the lines on my palms don’t give me enough time to love you as long as I’d like to type love
and I want a love that makes me st-st-st-stutter just thinking about how strong this love is type love and I want a love that makes me want to cut off all my hair. Well maybe not all of the hair, maybe like I’d cut the split ends and trim the mustache but it would still be a symbol of how strong my love is for her.
I kind of feel comfortable now so I even be fantasize about walking out on a green light just dying to get hit by a car just so I could lose my memory, get transported to some third world country just to get treated and somehow meet up again with you so I could fall in love with you in a different language and see if it still feels the same type love.
I want a love that’s as unexplainable as she is, but I’m married so she is gonna be the one I share this love with.
Dear another You,
We’re over and done with. We’ve been done. You’re not worth it, I don’t know why I thought you were in the first place. I got a good man and I’m not leaving him for anybody, especially you. Maybe you should be more concerned about your girl and your relationship and where its headed rather than tryina holler at me, AGAIN. And don’t ever think you can disrespect myself or my man. You’re half the man he is, and you’ll never mean more to me than him, he’s better than you’ll ever be. So just stop. Game over. There’s no competition.
I’m sorry if I hurt you, but my decision was effortless. I didn’t want to date you anymore. I wasn’t happy when I was with you, you didn’t give me butterflies, I didn’t want to go out of my way to spend time with you. It honestly wasn’t worth it for me because yeah, you were cute, but that was it. I wasn’t attracted to your swagger, your intelligence (or lack there of), your attitude, your future, your anything. I didn’t see my future with you in it. So I left. I wasn’t harsh on you. And I didn’t make the effort. And neither did you (which was a main reason for me walking away.)
Grow up. You’re 22, I’m 20. I had the integrity and respect for you to smile and wave when I saw you, and you graciously returned that with the middle finger.
Learn some respect. If I broke your heart, I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have let yourself fall after only 3 dates.
I hope you have a good life and learn some respect.
- What're you doing babe? On YouTube or Shoes?
- I'm on tumblr.
- who are you & what did you do with my boyfriend !!
This woman is so inspirational. I can’t tell you how many times I read her blog and how many times she’s helped me get through anything I’m having a hard time with. She’s one of the people who inspired me to keep reaching for my dreams no matter how many people tell me I shouldn’t. I’ve never met her, but man! If only I could meet her! She honestly touched my life!
Wow, thanks Monica. You have no idea how bad I needed that.
i love kandee! i’ve been watching her on youtube for about a year now. love love love <3
But I miss my boyfriend ):
I’ll tell ya,
I’m a sanguine. I keep & lose everything.
I think they’re in my car tho.
Even better, if they’re not, I don’t have time to get a new pair tmo b/c i have school 930-2, work 2-10, then going home/getting trina/getting to the airport by 1045 for our 1240am flight.
Last night in the bay till monday.
of course he’s next to me.
It really is Leadership Friday this week.
:) :) :) In t-minus 48 hours I will be on a flight to Kentucky :) WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT.
What makes you think, you’ve made me fall?
day 01- Guilty pleasure
day 02- Something that inspires you
day 03- The five songs you would have with you on a desert island and why
day 04- What you imagine paradise to be like
day 05- A thank you letter to someone who has changed your life
day 06- Earliest thing you can remember
day 07- Favorite cover of your favorite song
day 08- Someone you think would make a good president
day 09- Five things you want to see change
day 10- A dream you had this past week described in detail
day 11- Favorite picture ever taken of yourself
day 12- Your favorite musical artist’s life story
day 13- A memory that never fails to make you laugh
day 14- Best mashup you’ve ever heard
day 15- A moment, phrase, or song that has changed your life the most.
day 16- Something that you want to do within the next five years.
day 17- What you want to remembered for.
day 18- A picture that makes you feel
day 19- A passage from a book that has touched you
day 20- A band that you immediately liked and the song that made you like them
day 21- Your favorite medium of art.
day 22- Someone you would give your life up for without question.
day 23- Most awkward first impression you feel you’ve ever given
day 24- Something you did as a child that other people remember you for.
day 25- Something you would do if no one stopped you or if you knew you wouldn’t fail.
day 26- Your definition of love.
day 27- Your definition of the meaning of life.
day 28- A moment you remember being completely happy in and a description of why you believe you were. what is your definition of happiness?
day 29- What you live for.
day 30- Ways you believe you have grown over the past thirty days.
LAYER 1: ON THE OUTSIDE.
Birth Date: july15.
Current Location: My couch :)
Hair Color: Brizzown..
LAYER 2: ON THE INSIDE.
Your fear: Losing the people I care about.
Your dream of the perfect date: The place on Embarcadero with my cute boyfriend :)
Goals you’d like to achieve: Powaplayaaaaaa.
LAYER 3: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW.
Your thoughts first waking up: He’sthecutest.
Your best physical feature: :) I have some nice tittays.
Your bed time: Whenever we get tired.
Your most missed memory: Times with Nana and with Gramps.
LAYER 4: YOUR PICK.
Pepsi or Coke: Coke.
McDonald’s or Burger King: MACDOE.
Single or Group Dates: Just me and him.
Adidas or Nike: J’s
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate.
Cappuccino or Coffee: Latte.
LAYER 5: DO YOU.
Take showers: Everyday.
Have a crush: More than <3
Like school: Sometimes.
Believe in yourself: Sometimes, sometimes i need your push.
Believe what goes around comes around: Yes.
Believe everything happens for a reason: Yes.
Think you’re a health freak: Not even close.
LAYER 6: IN THE PAST MONTH.
Gone to the mall: Todayy.
Been on stage: Mhm
Eaten sushi: <3
Been hurt: Mhmmm.
Dyed your hair: Yessuh.
LAYER 7: HAVE YOU EVER.
Played a stripping game: Yeahhhh
Kissed the same sex: Yes
Gotten beaten up: Never.
Changed who you were to fit in: Gags
LAYER 8: GETTING OLD.
Age you’re hoping to be married by: -__________-
Number of kids you’re planning on having: A million.
LAYER 9: IN A GIRL/GUY.
Best eye color: Bernard
hair color: Bernard.
Short or long hair: Bernard.
Fat or fit: Bernard.
Looks or personality: Bernard.
Fun or serious: Bernard.
LAYER 10: WHAT WERE YOU DOING.
1 MINUTE AGO: Arguing.
1 HOUR AGO: Arguing.
1 WEEK AGO: Arguing.
1 YEAR AGO: Nothing.
LAYER 11: FINISH THE SENTENCE.
I FEEL: sadface.
I HATE: when we argue over nothing.
I HIDE:. acting like everything’s okay.
I NEED: to stop letting everything get to me.
I LOVE: sunshine.
& this survey got me in trouble with him. sweet.
H. Ross Perot
— this is the truth. I got so wrapped up in going bronze, that I didn’t focus on going power player, I didn’t focus on helping people. Now, its 4 days till Leadership and I’m helping 3 people away from my goal.
And I don’t think I can do it.
Besides that… I feel like I’ve been left to hang high and dry, all by myself. Yeah, part of it is my fault. I took some time back to myself, for my relationship, for my family. But, I didn’t have the support I thought I was going to get. I felt myself going thru the motions of the commitment, but that was it. Because I didn’t feel that bond anymore from some people where it needed to come from.
Maybe its just my bad wolf talking, maybe its cos I’m stressed, or maybe its just how I feel. Makes me feel like I can’t do this anymore. I want it, but do I have people supporting me?
Starts at 140pm on Thursday, May 27. And I am so stinking excited :) Busy bee until then!
Cheeeeeck it out.
May16: Work 615-1030
17: Camping shopping with mom & boyfriend, shopping with boyfriend, dinner with parents/brother/boyfriend, coffee with Cynthia.
18: Comm & English finals. PRETTY GIRL TIME? Open meeting (& hopefully meeting Chris m’f EVANS.)